Red Herring
by Reinao Tanaka
Summary: Featuring Aburame Shino and Yamanaka Ino trapped in a women's restroom, and the psychopath who wants to see them both dead. What happens when a novelist has to solve a real crime, or lose the woman he cares for? AU. ShiIno. Rated T for action violence.


This is my first attempt at the thriller genre. As always, it will include romance, but on an edgier scale. This first chapter, actually, is intended to be more humorous than anything else. Savor it, for this will definitely not be a light-hearted tale. Please enjoy!

Disclaimer: The words are mine. The characters are Kishimoto's.

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**red herring**--n. something intended to divert attention from the real problem or matter at hand; a misleading clue.

_**Red Herring**_

Chapter One

Shino Aburame was a tall man, though he tried to hide the fact by slumping. It was a bad habit he had fallen into early on in high school, when his growth spurt had hit and made him a bigger target in the eyes of bullies. His short, dark hair forever looked as though he had just been running his fingers through it. Not even a can of hairspray had been able to tame the tousled locks into a semblance of order--much to his editor's dismay at the time. His eyes were perpetually hidden behind a pair of dark shades--something else his editor had originally despaired over.

Shino had also, quite by accident, somehow become a famed author. He had been a entomologist who was well-known within his limited circle. One day, when e-mailing a rough draft of his book (_The Nature and Habits of African Dung Beetles: A Study_) to a publishing house, he had sent the wrong file. Instead of a mind-numbingly boring chapter filled with more information than one ever wanted to know about dung beetles, the editor had instead been pleasantly surprised by a riveting opening chapter to a promising thriller. He had signed Shino on the spot. Two years later, his books could be found in almost every bookstore. People could not stop praising his books--men because of their fast-paced plots, and women because of his uncanny grasp of the human psyche. Well, that was actually a lie. For some reason, women found his reclusive and mysterious nature to be amazingly "hott" and "sexy." Some females bought his books for what was in them, but it seemed to Shino that more bought them because of the picture of him which took up the entire back of the book jacket.

All this only partially explained how he came to find himself trapped in the stall of a woman's bathroom.

It had all started out so innocently. His latest book had just premiered and his editor had dragged him out on a world-wide book signing tour, which would end in his native Japan. Every stop had gone well, at least in his editor's opinion. Men and women lined up outside bookstores to get his signature on their books. Security guards were always ready to calm any quarrels that might arise, or any attempts to maul the author. He was both relieved and exhausted by the time they reached their final stop--a large bookstore in the center of Tokyo. When he was released for a short lunch break, he had come up with the brilliant idea of escaping the fawning multitude. Shino had gone to the restroom and donned a sweatshirt, pulling the hood up to hide his unruly dark hair, then slid out the tiny window in the outer wall of the restroom. Drunk on his success, he had intended to escape the bookstore while he could. Instead, as he passed by the one of the large glass windows, he had caught sight of a fascinating display on insects.

Like a lamb to the slaughter, he had reentered the bookstore. Or maybe it was like a moth to flame...Nevertheless, he stepped back into the store. He was so caught up in _An Encyclopaedia of Insects_ that he failed to notice the way a nearby woman was staring at him. She edged closer and closer while the author remained blissfully unaware. When she let out an ear-piercing shriek, however, he was startled from his state of obliviousness.

"It _is_ you! I can't believe it! Would you sign my book?" she asked, voice still far too loud.

He glanced around nervously. Other nearby females were beginning to focus on them. The author tried a charming smile.

"I'm actually on a break right now, but I'll be signing more copies in a few minutes. My table is set up over there," he said, waving a hand in the general direction.

"It'll only take a second," the woman pressed.

He cast another glance around. Other women were edging nearer, like a pack of wolves around a wounded deer.

'_Bad simile,'_ he decided.

Of course, he then did just what that wounded deer would have done in his place: he ran. And the women, like wolves scenting blood, chased after him.

---

Yamanaka Ino was also tall, but she was proud of every inch. She even wore heels sometimes to emphasize her height. It made getting a date hard every now and then, because men were silly about things like women being taller than they were. However, she didn't let that deter her. With her blonde hair, sky blue eyes, and curvy physique, she could usually convince any hesitant man to date her despite her height. Her long hair would reach her waist if she left it down, but she typically pulled it back in a high ponytail. Her sky blue eyes were always alight with life and dancing with her changing emotions. She was a woman who knew what she wanted in life and got it...at least when it came to the opposite gender. When it came to the rest of her life, however, she was adrift.

Her best friend, Haruno Sakura, was one of the brightest doctors in the city and well on her way to becoming renowned for her skills and innovations in the field of medicine. Her other two friends, Hyuuga Tenten and Uzumaki Hinata, were both happily married to their childhood sweethearts. And then there was her, the one who had boasted as a teenager that she would be the first one to find love and fame. Yet here she was at the old age of twenty-eight--practically a spinster!--working full-time in a bookstore at minimum wage and with no steady boyfriend in sight. Her dreams of being swept off her feet had long ago been placed on a shelf to gather dust. At least until the day she was dragged into a bathroom stall by a stranger.

It had been one of the worst days of her life. She had come in at opening, already running late because her alarm had failed to go off, and been chewed out by her manager. Some famous author was supposed to be doing a book signing that day, so the store had been twice as crowded as it usually was. Then, during her first break, Temari had pulled her aside. The rough-spoken but beautiful woman had started out as Ino's rival, but the two had become friends. In fact, Temari was her only friend at work. So she was totally shocked when her fellow blonde waved a sparkling engagement ring in front of her eyes.

"Shikamaru proposed last night!" she squealed.

Ino blinked. She hadn't even known her two friends were dating. She forced a smile, quickly hugging her friend.

"That's...wonderful, Temari. I'm so happy for you. Shika's a great guy," she murmured.

Tears were beginning to blur her vision, so she quickly excused herself. She and Shikamaru had been friends since they were teenagers. For the longest time, she had been hiding a horrible crush on him, too scared that she would ruin their friendship if she confessed her feelings. It seemed he wasn't as much of a genius as everyone said he was if he had never noticed. She bit back a scream of frustration.

She was such an idiot! She had been the one to introduce the two of them. They hadn't even hit it off! Temari thought he was a lazy good-for-nothing, and he thought she was "troublesome." Ino had thought they were only pretending to get along for her sake. She really was a complete idiot.

She suddenly realized that there were tears streaming down her face and smudging her carefully applied makeup. Her boss would kill her if he saw her wandering the store like this! She rushed into the nearest bathroom. She was splashing her face with cold water to reduce the redness around her eyes when the door flew open. She jumped and spun around, eyes widening at the sight of an out-of-breath man standing there.

The hoodie he wore had fallen back to reveal disheveled black hair and the sunglasses he wore were cockeyed. Behind them, though, she was certain he was staring at her. She quickly snatched a paper towel from the dispenser and started to dry her face.

"Excuse me, sir, but this is not the men's restroom. You'll need to-" she began.

There was a high-pitched squeal behind him and he stepped fully into the bathroom so the door would shut behind him. He cast a quick glance over his shoulder, then looked back at her.

"Do you know who I am?" he asked.

She stared blankly at him. His voice was deep and smooth. It was the kind of voice that ignored a person's ears and went straight for the spine, conjuring thoughts of darkened rooms and tangled bodies.

'_No, Ino...bad thoughts!'_ she chastised herself. She didn't even know this man!

"Um...no?" she responded, the answer coming out as a question.

Without warning, he darted forward, one arm closing around her waist. He dragged her into a stall and shut the door behind him as he clambered onto the seat of the toilet. She stared at him. Was this man an escapee from the local mental hospital or something?

"What are you-" she started.

A warm hand closed over her mouth.

"Quiet or they'll hear you," he whispered.

'_They?'_ she wondered, _'Why are the cute ones always insane?'_

Then, the door burst open, slamming against the wall.

"I think he went in here!" a feminine voice shouted.

"Shino-sama, we only want an autograph," another voice added.

Ino's brow furrowed in consternation. She glanced back at the man--Shino?--to find him shivering, his hidden gaze fixed on the flimsy door that separated him from the women trailing him. Not quite knowing why she was doing it, she leaned past him to reach the handle of the toilet. Mmm...he smelled good. She forced her traitorous thoughts back into line and flushed the toilet, then stepped out into the main part of the bathroom. A group of women were clustered in the doorway, books clutched to their heaving bosoms.

"May I help you, ladies?" she asked calmly, moving to the sink to wash her hands.

The lead woman spoke up, "You haven't seen a man come in here, have you? About thirty, with black hair and the sexiest pair of sunglasses?"

The sunglasses _were_ pretty se-NO! She needed to focus. She smiled sweetly.

"I'm sorry, there's no one in here but me," she said.

They stared at her with a mixture of distrust and disappointment. Finally, the spokeswoman nodded.

"Thank you, miss," she said.

The cluster of crestfallen women shuffled back into the bookstore. Ino was drying her hands when the stranger exited the stall where he had hidden. He pulled off his crooked sunglasses, revealing deep brown eyes that were even more mysterious than the shades he used to hide them. Running a hand through his messy hair, he gave her a shy smile. Phew...somebody call an ambulance, because her heart just stopped.

"Thank you," he said in that spine-melting voice of his.

She managed a nonchalant shrug.

"Just doing my job. Why were all those women after you?" she asked.

He blushed faintly.

"I've written a few books, nothing too noteworthy," he said modestly.

"Wait..." she said.

That author who was here today, wasn't his name Shino?

"Aren't you _supposed_ to be signing autographs?" she asked.

He glanced away from her, hands subconsciously playing with the sunglasses he was still holding. She used the opportunity to study him again. He was about her height, maybe even a little taller. His dark hair looked soft and the tousled waves made her hands just itch to run through them. His features were aesthetically pleasing, though rather plain, but his best feature definitely had to be his eyes. They were a rich chocolate color that stood out against his otherwise pale features. His eyes drew her in until she felt as if she was drowning in them.

"I was on break," he answered her question.

'_And you decided to wander through a store that has your poster plastered everywhere?'_ she thought, but what came out was something completely different, "So, do you avoid all women, or just ones that chase you?"

Her own embarrassment was forgotten at the author's reaction to the question. She watched in fascination as his pale skin turned the most enchanting shade of red. Boy was he cute when he blushed.

"I...they...yes," he stammered.

"Yes to which part?" she teased as his blush deepened.

Chocolate eyes slanted up to glance at her before turning to a scrutiny of the tile floor.

"Most women chase me, especially since my first book was published," he said quietly.

She wracked her brain, trying to remember the biography she had glanced at when the bookstore had first booked him to come. He wasn't married, was he? It would be really embarrassing if she threw herself at a married man. Though, it couldn't be worse than one of her best friends marrying the man she had had a crush on for years.

"Has a woman caught you yet?" she blurted.

One of his eyebrows lifted even as his blush darkened.

"No, not yet," he said.

Ino forged on with her characteristic boldness, "Would you want to have lunch with me?"

His dark eyes widened. He lifted his wrist to glance at his watch.

"Actually, my break was over two minutes ago," he said.

She kept her chin held high.

"Okay. You'd better get back then," she said, turning to the bathroom door.

"Yamanaka-san, when do you get off?" he called.

She froze, pale blue eyes lighting up. She turned her head to look back at him over her shoulder.

"Four," she said.

"Would you want to get coffee?" he questioned.

The man shifted nervously after issuing his invitation, not quite meeting her eyes. For a world-renowned author, he was horribly unsure of himself. It was adorable. She fought back the smile that threatened to erupt at the thought. No male would appreciate being thought of as adorable.

"That would be great," she said.

She had to pinch herself after leaving the bathroom to make sure she wasn't dreaming. The rest of her workday, however, floated by as if it were a dream, for the blonde was walking about three feet off the ground. Even the sight of the ring sparkling on Temari's finger couldn't bring her down. She had a date with a man who was the epitome of tall, dark, handsome, and mysterious...and no doubt rich too.

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Next chapter: Shino and Ino's date, as well as the introduction of a few new characters.

Please leave a review and let me know how I'm doing. I always accept constructive criticism, or just honest praise. :)


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